just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
