Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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