just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
