wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
