My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
