I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
