Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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