...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I did not marry a roomba.
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