so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
