I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
