i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had sex on a roof
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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