I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
