Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize