what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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