He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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