its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize