She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
