She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize