watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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