I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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