i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He shit in the fireplace
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
