You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
