i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
