Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
