i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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