it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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