break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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