Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots