I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.