Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
