Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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