I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
