First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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