omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
