I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
kristin has been a bad kristin
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
