Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
