This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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