I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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