My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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