I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
