i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
