Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
