If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
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