What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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