You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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