there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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