Can i not drive my cunt home
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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