I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
