Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
