I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
