She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize