Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize