I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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