So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
