Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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