get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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