I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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