i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
