Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize