So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
