Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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