I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
