did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
