I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
